Finally he said, " a carefree environment. The announcement was still reverberating through the ship when the scrotum airing began in earnest; shorts and shirts dropped to the ground and penises dangled in the south Florida sun. Permission had been granted. Now buttocks could swing from side to side with no restrictions, and breasts - finally released from the prison of blouse and brassiere - burst into the open, to be caressed by soft tropical breezes. We were on a boat.
Meaning nudism. Or naturism.
Depending on who you ask. There are several theories floating around about which word means what - historically speaking there are some actual distinctions - but the reality was that I was on a boat with almost 2, people who weren't wearing clothes.
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I am fascinated by subcultures: the Deadheads and Juggalos who have built unique cultures out of following their favourite bands as they tour the country, the amateur mechanical engineers who build robots in their garages, the home brewers who experiment with beer in their kitns and the foodies who eat at illegal restaurants in people's homes. People do strange things. They collect stamps and watch trains, they dress their pets to look like famous characters from movies, they dress themselves to look like anime characters, they go to conventions in woodland animal costumes and have group sex in "plushie piles".
All of these activities have their own culture, a network of people who speak a specific kind of lingo that outsiders don't understand.
I'm especially fascinated by subcultures that are deemed morally suspect or quasi-legal: the people who pursue their passion even if it means possible imprisonment or stigmatisation by society. I can't help it. I like the true believers. The fanatics. My first nonfiction book was about cannabis connoisseurs and the underground botanists who source heirloom varietals of marijuana from all over the world. Cannabis culture has a rich history, filled with colourful characters.
These are men and women who defy oppressive anti-drug laws and good-naturedly don't give a fuck about societal norms. It wasn't much of a leap for me to become intrigued by the world of nudism.
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Or as my wife said: "First you're stoned all the time and now you're going to be naked? Why can't you write a book about ese? You like ese.
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The loudspeaker on the ship crackled to life and the cruise director added a caveat: "I would like to remind you that you must wear a cover-up in the dining areas. Or in the bars. Or anywhere for that matter. They were naked on deck and in the screening room, the library, the casino and the buffet line.
Nudists crowded around the piano bar and requested songs by Elton John and Billy Joel. The large theatre where stage shows were presented was filled with naked men and women.
They were in the elevators, walking down the corridors, playing ping pong, lifting weights in the gym, and guzzling cocktails by the pool. In the fitness centre someone asked the ship's in-house yoga tear if people had to wear clothes in the yoga classes. The tear gave her a curious look and then, as the true reality of the question sunk in - what I can only imagine was the image of a roomful of naked people doing downward-facing-dog flashing through her head - her face bloomed in panic and she said: "Oh yeah.
In the class.
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You have to wear clothes. But other than the yoga class, everywhere you looked, testicles and breasts hung low and pendulous, swaying side to side as the boat rocked in the open ocean; billows of bulbous flesh spilling off torsos, flowing earthward like the goop inside a lava lamp. The entire human body presented in all its natural nature was unavoidably on display.
I was sitting at what was called the Ocean Bar that first evening when I overheard a man, a silver-haired smoothy, complain loudly that there were too many old people on the cruise. He was When old people complain that there are too many old people, then you really know there are too many old people.
Most of the passengers were retirees and most of them were American. Which is to say that there were a lot of overweight people strutting around in their birthday suits.
That they did so unselfconsciously, without any hint of the neurotic body obsession that has created generations of diet-obsessed, bulimic, anorexic or just plain miserable people, was something that I found almost inspirational. They weren't ashamed of their bodies, they seemed to accept themselves and one another for who they are and what they were and, best of all, they had fun doing it.
Not all of them were retired.
I met a Harvard professor, a radiologist, a tool salesman and a couple of people serving in the armed forces. There were pharmaceutical sales reps, retail clerks, photographers, scientists, doctors, corporate executives, tears, lawyers, paralegals and people who really didn't want to talk about work while they were on holiday.
And of course not everyone was fat and saggy.
Commit error. nudist cruise girl already discussed recently
There was a large LGBT contingent who were on the healthy end of the body mass index, and there were some actual bona fide young people, trim and tattooed men and women in their twenties who clung together as if the naked retirees were harbingers of some sort of terrifying apocalypse. The naked twentysomethings gazed at the naked seventysomethings as if they could suddenly see the future, like a portal had opened in the space-time continuum and revealed a dystopian world where gravity and a sedentary lifestyle conspired to make everyone expand and sag.
It was heartbreakingly inevitable. Perhaps this glimpse into the abyss explained some of the uninhibited alcohol consumption among the younger set. The guests on the nude cruise were for the most part Caucasian, although there were a few South Asians, East Asians, and African-Americans in the clothes-free contingent.
They came from all over the US and Europe, too: Canadians from Toronto and Quebec, and people from Finland, Australia, Germany and the Netherlands. All these people, coming for the express purpose of standing around on the lido deck of a cruise ship and letting it all hang out.
Sex Cruise Will Feature Naked Passengers, Erotic Activities
As I was standing naked in front of these people, I have to say that I didn't feel a sudden sense of liberation. But I didn't feel afraid or ashamed either. My self-esteem didn't increase or decrease.
Mostly I felt a little awkward.
I've never talked to a naked stranger while being naked before and I was unsure what to say. Like, how was I supposed to greet people?
Would my saying hello be interpreted as overt sexual behaviour? And what were they thinking about me? Did I appear unhealthily pale? An obvious first-timer?
Nudists refer to people with untanned buttocks as "cottontails".
I'll be the first to admit my ass doesn't see a lot of sunlight. Mom likes to clean naked and gets caught by a y. wrong locker room.
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